Whose SSB Is It Anyway?
by SSB-Episode-Writer
Summary: My first parody of Whose Line Is It Anyway! Read it and enjoy!
1. Let's Make A Date!

Chapter 1: Let's Make A Date

"Good evening everyone! And welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway!" we hear someone's voice speaking and we see a bunch of people as an audience. "Tonight's guests, the man who's ultimate in every way except his brain, Hawkins!! The beautiful and yet the damsel in distress, Princess Zelda!! he never ages and stays the same, Mario! The man who is strong and never admits to stupidity, Captain Falcon!!" we see a man with green hair in the audience as he walks down the aisle.

"Hi everyone, I'm your host, Ian Narver and lets go!" He walks to a desk. "Hello and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway, the show where everything is made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are like the years going by and nothing changes," everyone laughs at that. "Now let's move on to a game called, Let's Make A Date. This is for all four of you. Zelda, you will be hosting this and you have to find out what are the others doing. Feel free to start whenever you want to Zelda."

Hawkins, Mario, and Falcon read their parts and roll their eyes as Falcon has a confused look on his face.

"Bachelor 1? If you had to choose between an Italian Restaurant and a movie, what would it be?" Zelda asked.

Hawkins seemed sad.

Hawkins: thinks he's hears a monkey when he's the monkey.

"Well gee, that would be a good offer and (makes a monkey sound)," he stops and looks around. "Did you hear that? There's a monkey in here (makes a monkey sound again). There it goes again!!"

"Uh okay, Bachelor 2, what do you think?" Zelda asked Mario.

Mario: A ghost hunter looking for a ghost disguised as Captain Falcon.

"Well, I believe the choice would be to take you on a ghost hunting trip," Mario answered.

"A what?" Zelda asked.

"You heard me and-" he looks at the crowd. "There he is!! Didn't you see him!! I'll stop him!!" He runs to the crowd puts up an imaginary gun at someone. "Darn it!! I know, you're out there somewhere!!" he runs back to his chair.

"I see, Bachelor 3, what do you think?" Zelda asked Falcon.

Falcon: Suffers seizures every 1 minute.

"Well, I believe-," Falcon falls to the ground and spazzes out. Hawkins jumps to his chair and makes noises. Mario looks at Falcon and looks at the others while they laugh. Falcon gets up and on his chair. "Anyway, what I was about to say is-," he fall to the ground and spazzes out again!

"Alright Bachelor 1, do you think watching the stars on a beautiful night would be the perfect date?" Zelda asked.

"I think I prefer eating fleas from people's hair," Hawkins goes to Mario, takes off his hat and picks at his head. Mario is trying hard not to laugh.

"Alright Bachelor 2, should we see a movie or watch the stars?"

"I prefer seeing ghosts get killed!!" Mario jumps and makes Hawkins fall down to the ground. Mario runs to the crowd and points the imaginary gun at another person. "You ain't seen the last of me!!"

"Bachelor 3, can I get some answers from you on this occasion?" Zelda went to Falcon.

"What kind of answers do you-," Falcon falls to the ground and does it again. Hawkins runs over and screeches like a monkey. Mario runs over to Falcon and points his finger at him.

"I GOT YOU NOW!!" Mario screamed.

The buzzer goes off and the boys go back to their stools.

"Okay, Zelda who are they?" Ian asked.

"Well Bachelor 1 is like some monkey going bananas," Zelda guessed and the buzzer rings as Hawkins nods and smiles. "Bachelor 2 is either a nut case or Jack Fenton trying to catch a ghost."

"He trying to find the ghost that looks like Falcon," Ian corrected her.

"Oh. And Bachelor 3 is a man that passes out every 30 seconds?"

"What happens when people spaz out?" Ian asked.

"Oh they have a seizure!!"

The buzzer rings and they go back to their chairs.

"I kind of wish Falcon was a ghost myself," Ian said.

"Let's get Danny Phantom to finish the job and send him to the Ghost Zone!" Hawkins said.

"Oh please," Falcon said and dranked some water. 


	2. Two Line Vocabulary

Chapter 2: Two Line Vocabulary

"Let's move on to a game called, 'Two Line Vocabulary!' This is for Hawkins, Mario, and Falcon," Ian announced as the three men walked down from their chairs. "Now what these guys will do is they have to act out a scene while only say two lines. Now Mario will be charge of the scene while Hawkins and Falcon have to say two lines. Hawkins, your lines are 'Is this the bathroom?' and 'Why does he have to do it?'" Hawkins nodded to this. "Falcon, your lines are, 'Can I go now?' and 'Which one is which?'" Falcon agreed. "Now the scene is, you guys are on a mission to Mars when your space shuttle's engine died. So Mario take it away."

Mario appears to be driving.

"Alright Falcon, when we're near Mars, activate the landing gear," MArio said.

"Which one is which?" Falcon asked.

"That button right there!"

"Why does he have to do it?" Hawkins asked.

"Because I told him to do it!" Mario answered.

"Can I go now?" Falcon asked.

"No not yet!!"

"Is this the bathroom?" Hawkins asked.

"No it isn't!! This is the control room! Wait, what's that sound?" Mario asked.

"Can I go now?" Falcon asked.

"Oh my gosh! The engine is dead!! Falcon go fix it!!"

"Which one is which?"

"Why does he have to do it?" Hawkins asked.

"Because I told him now shut up!!"

"Can I go now?" Falcon asked.

"Yes I'll go with you as well," Mario said.

"Why does he have to do it?" Hawkins whined.

"Shut up!!"

"Which one is which?"

"That one over there!"

"Is this the bathroom?" Hawkins asked.

"No, you stay here and make sure asteriods don't hit our ship," Mario ordered.

Mario and Falcon walk as if they are walking to the damage engine. They move around like astronauts.

"There it is!!" Mario said.

"Which one is which?" Falcon asked.

"Right in front of you!!"

"Is this the bathroom?" Hawkins followed them.

"I thought I told you to stay on the ship!?" Mario gasped.

"Can I go now?" Falcon asked.

"Did you bring the tool box?" Mario asked.

"Which one is which?" Falcon wondered.

"Hawkins, what did you do to the ship?"

"Why does he have to do it?"

"The ship is moving away from us!!"

"Can I go now?" Falcon asked.

"NOOOOO!!" Mario screamed and the buzzer goes off.

They go back to their seats as Ian is recovering from laughter.

"I think I have to use the bathroom myself," he commented. 


	3. Props

Chapter 3: Props

"Let's move on to our next game called, Props! This for all four of you!" Ian announced as the four get up to get their props. "Hawkins and Zelda, here's your props," he hands them long like poles. "Mario and Falcon, take yours," he hands them two hemispheres. "Now what these guys will do is to try to make up as many things as they can using their props. Hawkins and Zelda take it away."

"This drink is sure big" Hawkins said as he and Zelda pretended to suck the poles like a straw. The buzzer rings and goes to Mario and Falcon.

"Mario is putting on the 18th hole. If he misses this, he gives up his title as Nintendo's official mascot," Falcon spoke like an announcer on golf. Buzzer.

Zelda has the poles on her breasts.

"So you were breast-feeding in the winter outside?" Hawkins asked. Buzzer.

Mario and Falcon holds up the hemispheres into one sphere.

"We're going to show you how to crack the Earth! Or VG!" Mario said as he and Falcon walk away from each other. Buzzer.

Hawkins has the poles on his head.

"Eh, what's up Doc?" Hawkins spoke like Bugs Bunny. Buzzer.

Mario and Falcon have their hands together with the hemispheres on the ground.

"We are gather here today to bury Rouge the Bat," Falcon said. Buzzer.

Hawkins has the poles on his chest and back.

"So you're saying the bullet was through and through?" Zelda asked. Buzzer.

Mario has Falcon holding one hemisphere on Mario's head. Mario has his face look like he's Chinese. Ian rings the buzzer a lot of times.

"We'll be right back after these messages!" he shouted. 


	4. Weird Newscasters

Chapter 4: Weird Newscasters

"Welcome back to Whose Lines Is It Anyway!" Ian announced. "You know, ever get that feeling when you want to do something but end up forgetting it?"

"Like trying to beat up Falcon?" Mario asked.

The crowd laughs as Falcon rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, but on to more important stuff, let's move onto a game call, 'Weird Newscaster!' This is all four of you. Mario, you will be the anchor with Zelda as your co-anchor. Zelda, you are woman going into labor," Zelda nods to this. "Hawkins, you will do the sports. You are Michael Jackson looking for love," Hawkins smiles with a weird look. "And Falcon, you will be the weatherman. And you think the cameraman is a spy working on a secret mission," Falcon is like "what?" "So Mario, when you hear the music start the show."

The music goes off as we focus in on Mario. Zelda appears to be in pain.

"Hello and welcome to the 6:00 news. I am your host, Fart Simpson. On tonight's news, Sonic the Hedgehog was seen having sex with his girlfriend, Amy Rose. He was arrested for sexual assault and rape on the girl that loved him so much. Newscaster claims she had a wonderful time. Now onto my co-anchor, Lindsey Puss. Lindsey?"

"AAAAUUGGGGGHHHHHH!! BABY IS 5 POUNDS AND IS COMING IN REALLY FAST!!" Zelda screams in agony.

"We'll come back to Lindsey later. Right now, let's move on to sports with Woody the Woodman. Woody?" Mario asked.

"Thank you Fart!" Hawkins spoke in a high voice. "Well the Cubes gave it a good fight with a final score of 9-6! And boy do I love you," Hawkins walks over to Ian and messes with his hair. Ian is laughing his lungs out.

Mario puts his hand to his ear.

"This just in, Michael Jackson wants his spot back," Mario said.

"I'M PUSHING!! I'M PUSHING!!" Zelda yelled.

"Now let's move onto the weather with Tom Bruise. Tom?"

"Thank you well today it's going to be clear with a 20 percent chance of rain and-," Falcon stares at the camera. "I see what you're doing. Yeah you!" Falcon points to the camera. "You trying to work on something to kill the President! Or should I say, the Mayor!!"

Falcon runs to the camera and sticks his face on the lense. Hawkins runs over to him and hugs him.

"Wait, I'm getting something. We are busy trying to find a replacement for our weatherman," Mario announced. "Well that's it well for the 6:00 news. See us tonight at 8:15. Good night!"

Zelda falls to the ground in agony as Hawkins rushes to her and Falcon walks away from the camera. The buzzer rings a lot of times and they go back to their seats.

"1 point for Falcon, Mario, and Hawkins. 500 for Zelda," Ian mocked.


End file.
